By Chivon John
As Danielle Laporte says “Everything we do is driven by the desire to feel a certain way.”
When you think about your fitness goals and more importantly your pursuit of them, how do you feel?
Behind the desire for a healthier life, to look great naked or feel stronger, there is a burning desire for something more.
No matter how much time you invest in your workouts, eating clean or the vision boards that you create, without a strong connection to your why you’ll always be yearning for more.
Goals should be a tool of liberation rather than imprison you in feelings of fear and self-doubt.
Although it’s difficult to believe that the pursuit of a wellness goal could be unhealthy, they can be if you’re chasing something that leaves you feeling enslaved with negative thinking instead of feeling empowered.
Curious about whether your goals are authentic? Here are 3 warning signs that you’re out of alignment:
1. You’re driven by a desire to ‘fit in’
Behind the desire to fit in, is the desire to belong. But ‘fitting in’ shouldn’t require you to change who you are.
According to shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brene Brown, belonging only comes with self-acceptance, specifically the courage to be vulnerable, authentic, imperfect, and the belief that you are enough.
In the absence of self-acceptance, you’ll find yourself hustling for worthiness where you constantly seek and search for self worth.
No amount of physical training can fix the mental fitness that needs to occur before you hit the gym.
2. You’re striving for perfection instead of progress
No matter what the images on your instagram feed tell you, there is no perfect or right way to live a healthy life.
Inspiration is a beautiful way to kick-start your journey but don’t let your tools of inspiration become the same tools that fuel your self-doubt. When in doubt remember this:
You have permission to create meal plans that work for your lifestyle and body.
You have permission to track your progress in a way that feels good to you.
You have permission to create a sustainable wellness plan that makes you feel alive.
You don’t have to follow what everyone else is doing, and there is no prize for trying to be perfect.
Celebrate the journey, enjoy the bumps and choose progress over perfection.
3. You’re focused on pleasing others instead of yourself
In the same way that we try to fit in, setting goals to please others will keep you stuck in the cycle of searching for worthiness.
There is nothing wrong with wanting toned legs or capped shoulders, but are your goals conditions for feeling acceptable in the eyes of others?
Behind the feeling to please others is a desire for someone to affirm who you are.
But here’s the problem, if you don’t show love for yourself in the present, you’ll have difficulty loving the future you.
Be mindful of the judgments on yourself and others and realize that a healthy you begins from the inside out. More importantly, the people in your corner should be your biggest cheerleaders and not your biggest critics.
In words of Rumi-“Be suspicious of what you want and remember that your goals should start and end with you.
According to Danielle Laporte,
“when it comes to goal pursuit, we’re either avoiding pain or seeking pleasure”.
Only YOU can decide which one it will be.